Who Cares for the Caregiver?

One of a family friends recently received a dementia diagnosis.  His wife took care of him. After about a year of taking care of him, the doctors diagnosed her with breast cancer.

When I told medical people who help me with my assisted living homes, they did not seem surprised at all. They said it was very common for caregivers to develop a chronic condition due to the stress of providing care.

How sad is that? Really emphasizes the idea that no good deed goes unpunished.

A study called the ‘Caregivers Health Effects Study’ found that family members (mostly spouses in the study) who provided care and suffered from stress faced a 63% higher mortality risk than people who were not providing care to someone.

53% of older caregivers are managing two or more chronic conditions on their own.

It’s easy as a caregiver to neglect your own health while you are trying to support others.

It also makes me think that we have a duty to do everything we can to maintain and improve our own health. None of us want to be a burden to our spouse or other family members. I’d hate to think I was the reason for giving one of my family members a chronic condition.

Some people say “I’m just old. What does it matter how I eat? I like watching TV all day.”

Hey if you live alone and nobody is caring for you, great. It’s a free country. Enjoy.

Taking that attitude when you have family members caring for you seems a bit selfish.

I totally understand if something happens beyond our control and we need help. People will always need care. Yet more and more chronic conditions seem to be the result of poor lifestyle choices rather than bad genes or bad Karma.

Even if you do have bad genes or bad Karma, don’t you think it’s worth it to your caregiver to work really hard at improving your health?

40-70% of family caregivers report clinically significant symptoms of depression.

It’s probable that the family member who needs care could really help the caregiver’s depression if they worked really hard to improve their health?

What’s really depressing is taking care of someone who just wants people to wait on them.

The internet if full of stories of people coming back from strokes. Others controlling their Parkinson’s with vigorous exercise. MS patients using diet to resolve many of their symptoms. And obese people losing tons of weight.

Those stories receive tons of likes and excited comments.

People love, love, love those kind of stories. Think of how a caregiver would feel if the person they are trying to help becomes the subject of one of those stories. Think it might be helpful for depression?

I see our caregivers perk right up when we have a success with one of our residents.

Caregiving should be a two-way street. A caregiver should not be a servant or slave. Both participants are part of a team.

Because both participants have the dual roles of caregiver AND person who needs care (caregivee?).