Great Communication Advice from a Trial Lawyer

It’s amazing how many difficult conversations you must have when you’re taking care of an elderly parent.

Telling your Mom or Dad they can’t drive anymore.

Standing your ground if you don’t agree with the doctor.

Convincing other family members about the best choices for your parent’s care.

There are many other examples. I’m sure you don’t look forward to these conversations. Or you can vouch for their difficulty if you’ve had them.

Want some tips and techniques about improving your technique with them? Want to know how to make these conversations easier?

I found a lawyer online that can help you. For free. All you have to do is subscribe to his channels. Or follow him. I’m actually not sure what is the latest lingo.

The lawyer’s name is Jefferson Fisher. You can find him on Instagram. He also has a podcast that he just started. I think you’ll enjoy him.

On Instagram he does daily, short (1 minute or so) videos with great tips. Here are some of his tips that might apply in a family situation:

· How to confidently ask for help

· How to apologize

· When someone tells you how to feel

· How to argue with a gaslighter

· How to be more assertive

· Number 1 key to reducing conflict

There are tons of other tips. It takes a while to build up an audience of 5.5 million followers on Instagram. Which he has.

He just started his podcast. As of the writing of this email, he has just one episode of his podcast. Other than an introductory message.

And guess what? The episode is about having a difficult conversation. Here are some highlights:

Don’t begin difficult conversations with “How are you? How are things?” It’s not the time for small talk.

Instead you should start with “Thank you for making the time to talk with me.” Along those lines, he recommends not to just show up, call someone or knock on the door.

Schedule some time to have the conversation. “Hey can you give me some time tomorrow?/This weekend/Next week?”

Difficult conversations generally either are the result of having to deliver bad news or address a sensitive topic.

Mr. Fisher says you remove the ‘difficult’ from difficult conversations when you break it down into bite-sized chunks that will connect you to that other person.

The strategy changes depending on whether you need to deliver bad news or simply discuss a sensitive topic.

For strictly bad news, the faster you say the bad news, the better the conversation will go. After you thank them for making time, the first thing out of your mouth should be “I have bad news”. Or “this is going to be hard to hear.”

You give a pause, and then deliver the bad news. Directness is kindness.

For sensitive topics, remember this script.

Follow up thanking them for their time with “I need your help with something.” That takes it from being opponents, to being teammates trying to solve a problem. People want to be helpful.

Then discuss the sensitive topic. Express your own thoughts on the topic. Ask them to work on the problem together.

End the conversation with how you feel about the conversation.

“I feel better after talking with you.”

“I feel more settled.”

Then turn it right around and ask “So how about you?” That encourages the other person to connect with you. “So how do you feel about this conversation?” It encourages them to talk.

Jefferson Fisher has helped me when I’ve had difficult conversations with families in my assisted living homes. Hopefully he can help you.